is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
