She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
