Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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