My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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