Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
