Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
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