why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
