I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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