So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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