there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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