their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
