HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
