shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
