i just had sex bonerless
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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