Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
