you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
It was a blind-side dick pic.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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