my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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