More tranny stories later!
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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