Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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