One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
