well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
