well I can't set my house on fire every night
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
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