all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize