i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
