She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize