I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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