So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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