come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
