And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
