im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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