he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
