Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
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im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
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Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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