Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
