i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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