my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Randomize
