we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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