new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
