Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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