how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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