I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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