i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
