maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
