A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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