have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize