My room smells like vodka and shame
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Randomize
