do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
