i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
