guys are not supposed to queef...right?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
