I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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