she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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