Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
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