I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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