Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
