I want to stick my p in your. b.
If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
