the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
