Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
