HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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