Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
