i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
