your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
