i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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