she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
