Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
