Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
