I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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