Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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